INS jokes
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
How it feels to goon. But low key your mom walks in on you.
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!