INS jokes

I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.

Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?

Because they never get picked.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

"Addison Rae in bra? Nope, terrible."

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"

Man, I miss Savor, savor these balls in ya mouth!

There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.