INS jokes

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.

What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?

A baby with forks in its eyes.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.

What does Diana stand for?

Died In A Nasty Accident.

If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.

How did 10 die?

Because it was in between 9 and 11.

I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

What's black, white, and red all over?

A nun in a blender.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?

No, and neither did she.

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.

Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?

Because they never get picked.

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.

What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?

Tower 1...

I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

"What do you tell a person with depression?

Just hang in there, buddy!"