INS jokes
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
He was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city hall in French, and then on his way to be a good friend of the situation in the city, as he had been fixed in a few hours of the situation in which he was walking. I will never shiver at the sight [of] words.
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.