INS jokes

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️

What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

How do you punish a blind guy?

You leave a plunger in the toilet.

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.

What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.

My grandfather died in 9/11.

He was a great pilot.