INS jokes

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A Doberman in a playground.

You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.

Son: Dad, am I adopted?

Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.

Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?

In hope to find a mummy.

I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.