INS jokes
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...
They were shaking in excitement!
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...