INS jokes
What do dark humor and food have in common?
Some get it, some don't.
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.