INS jokes
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.
I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.