INS jokes
I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?