INS jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.