INS jokes
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
What's the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
Where do rabbits sleep?
In the junkyard outside.
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.