INS jokes
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.