INS jokes
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two, now they're a sensitive topic.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
Your forehead is so big it can't even fit in the garage!
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.