INS jokes
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I
What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?
1. They both want to die.
2. They both cut to die faster.
3. They both listen to emo songs.
4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."