INS jokes
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
Finally a RAPPER at #1
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.