INS jokes

Orphan

    • A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

    Twin

    • A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

    Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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    • Ppl

    • Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!

    INS memes

    Couch

    • I want a bigger couch.

    Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

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    • Day

    • On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:

    12 tap ins

    11 pointless dribbles

    10 fixed league titles

    9 missed penalties

    8-2

    6 dives

    500 million robbed from Barca

    4 UCL semi losses

    3 times he blamed Higuain

    2 retirements

    And a transfer to a farmers league.

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    • Wrinkle

    • What's the worst part about getting old?

    Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

    Alien

    • An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

    The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

    Mile

    • Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

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    • Thirst

    • I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨‍🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.

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    • Programmer

    • A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

    The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

    The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

    The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

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    • Cousin

    • My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

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