INS jokes
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
What is an Emo's favorite hobby?
Hanging in.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.