INS jokes
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
Who is the world's fastest reader?
The Twin Towers, they blew through 86 stories in 5 seconds.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.