INS jokes

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.

-- Jeffery Dahmer

I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.

There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?

He's Dahmer's son @domink.

What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.

I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

Why do orphans sit in apple trees?

They wait to be picked.

Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.

What's the best cheese in the world?

Dick cheese.

Can a person in a wheelchair stand up for themselves?

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

"I'm very good in sports."

"In which sports?"

"EA Sports."

Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?

Answer: Insider trading.

If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?