INS jokes
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!