INS jokes

Fish

    • I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

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    • Porn

    • A: Why are you so sad?

    B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

    A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

    B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.

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    • Mama

    • Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

    INS memes

    Baby

    • Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

    1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

    2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

    3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

    4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

    5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

    6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

    7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

    8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

    9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

    10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

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    • Bean

    • How many beans are there in Irish chili?

    Answer: 239

    Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?

    Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."

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    • Prank

    • Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.

    Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!

    1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.

    2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!

    3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.

    4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".

    She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!

    Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee

    Morning

    • The first ever joke:

    https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?

    Artist

    • An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.

    The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

    "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.

    "Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

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    • Boner

    • A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?

    - A boner.

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    • Robber

    • Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!

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