INS jokes
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.