INS jokes
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.
I’m in catholic school.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.