INS jokes
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
You wanna see a joke? Look in a mirror.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
Women need to be in the kitchen.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.