INS jokes

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?

A. They're just in bad taste.

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"

Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"

Deja-poo.

The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?

"Are you ready for fall?"

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

Why did they call off the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.

What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?

Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?

Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!

What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he. 😂😂