INS jokes
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.