INS jokes

I go balls deep in your mum with no power.

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."

"What’s your name?"

"Am erica."

"No, I asked for your name, not your country."

You built like you in the 1980's!

How do you fit a baby in a glass?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Explosives!

Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

You know what they call pineapples in Paris?

I don't know, what?

Anus.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.

He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."

I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.

There were three boys on the top of a slide.

The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"

What do a blonde and a cow have in common?

They're both fat af.

China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.

"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"

What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.