INS jokes

In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.

Why?

They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?

They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.

What do you call a fart in a gay bar?

A mating call.

Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.

I’m in catholic school.

My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."

Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.

I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.

The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"

The old man replied, "You're the eighth."

Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.

What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?

There’s no way home.

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.