INS jokes
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.