INS jokes
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.