INS jokes
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
WTF is going on in texas
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."