INS jokes

Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?

Because the joke needs parental guidance.

Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.

I suck poop in my butthole, aka porn.

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you.

I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

The Virgin Mobile.

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.

If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.

Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.

Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.

Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?

They’re both hanging in the closet.

In Mario, it is called a Zoomba, but if it was real, it would be a boomba.