INS jokes
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
F in orphan means family.
Why can't emos stand in chairs?
Because they never get down.
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
What’s the difference between morbid humor and dark humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in one trash can, and morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
How does a tree get online? They log in.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"