INS jokes

Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"

Person 2: "In Japan."

Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."

What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?

The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?

It’s the premium version of gay.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.