INS jokes
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.