INS jokes
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
Balls in your jaws.