INS jokes

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.

What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

Give them a Sandy Hook.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?

A: An American.

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.

+1 Comet.