INS jokes
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
The "f" in orphan is for family.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.