INS jokes
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!