INS jokes

Police Officer

    • I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

    Sacrifice

    • In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?

    Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?

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    • Rhyme

    • Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana. BORNANA.

    Eating pork rinds, sword fightin' in pajamas at the crib playin' Fortnite with your grandma.

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    • Constitution

    • Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

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    • Witch

    • Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

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    • Teacher

    • A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

    The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

    Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

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    • Mama

    • Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

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    • Midget

    • This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

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    • Poacher

    • The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

    The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

    The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

    The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

    This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

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