INS jokes
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?