INS jokes
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.