INS jokes
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
People in wheelchairs need to stand up for themselves.
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"