INS jokes
Who is the blindest person in the world?
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
If this post gets 200 likes or comments, I will show up in a MrBeast video.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.