Innuendo jokes

Why does family love family?

Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.

There are some questionable candies out there, such as:

"All I want is a good Blow Pop."

"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."

"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."

"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."

"Or adopt Three Musketeers."

"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?

I pull out of the driveway.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.