Innuendo jokes
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do gay Minecraft players do?
Stare at their big blocks.
Pee-wee Herman was in the army... until he got a dishonorable discharge!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"
She: "How can I resolve this?"
He: "Get a Cancer!"
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
I hear scientists have been experimenting with a new diet at Cornell University: just straight meat for 7 hours a night, all night long, with a side of alcohol to keep the shop open.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.