Innuendo jokes
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"
She: "How can I resolve this?"
He: "Get a Cancer!"
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!
What do gay Minecraft players do?
Stare at their big blocks.