Innuendo jokes
What do Lindsay Clancy and Jane Doe have in common?
Neither could walk after what they did.
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a train tunnel?
A train tunnel doesn’t get any wider when you rail it.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a lollipop?
A cocksucker.
Why can't gay men be handymen?
Because they'll be caulk fighting on the job.
What do Jane Doe and a cheap discount store have in common?
When the shop's open late, inventory management shuts down, but we all know there's probably some sausages in there.
I hear scientists have been experimenting with a new diet at Cornell University: just straight meat for 7 hours a night, all night long, with a side of alcohol to keep the shop open.
I hear Cornell produces very dedicated farmers; they’ll plow a field all night long no matter how much resistance she gives ’em.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Heh, what do you call two girls who love scissors?
Lesbians! Bahahah!
Hey, wanna know why you remind me of a waitress?
Because you handle my food great, and I give you a good tip afterwards.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
What did the 12-year-old boy say to the priest?
Nothing, because his mouth was full.
He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"
She: "How can I resolve this?"
He: "Get a Cancer!"
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What do gay Minecraft players do?
Stare at their big blocks.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.