Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
cock, cock, and cum
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
