Innuendo jokes

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?

Beat it.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

What do you call a tent for lesbians?

Finger Hut.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

Roses are red, lemons are sour.

Spread your legs and give me an hour.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

What is the difference between hungry and horny?

The cucumber goes to different places.

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.