My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! ๐ ๐ ๐
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
cock, cock, and cum
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ainโt no ordinary blow job.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you wonโt get it.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"