Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
What is the difference between hungry and horny? The cucumber goes to different places
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
cock, cock, and cum
What is a dirty minded harry potter fans favorite spell before the deed? dickus embigus!
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it
So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
Are you a walnut because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
dang... if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put D IN U ;)
i only know there is 25 letters in the alphabet, i don't know Y.
(mE: how many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (friEnd: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(mE: there are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (crUsh: no. there is actually 26) -- (mE: oooOoh, i forgot u r a q t ! so its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (crUsh: you forgot the D) -- (mE: thats not needed yet ;] )
what letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
What did the Banana say to the vibrator? What are you shaking for, she’s going to eat me!
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual peadophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!!!!
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says..
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my abc's?
Teacher: Go ahead, i guess....
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Wheres the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
