Innuendo jokes

What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?

I pull out of the driveway.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

There are some questionable candies out there, such as:

"All I want is a good Blow Pop."

"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."

"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."

"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."

"Or adopt Three Musketeers."

"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?

Beat it.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

What do you call a tent for lesbians?

Finger Hut.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

Roses are red, lemons are sour.

Spread your legs and give me an hour.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."