What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
What does mcdonalds and Catholic priest have in common
They both put their meat in 10 year old buns
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says..
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my abc's?
Teacher: Go ahead, i guess....
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Wheres the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Q - What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s? A - Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!
