Im jokes
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
"I'm going to sue Disney. Not enough racism!" - Grizzy
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.
Yeah, your legs.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
I'm alive, baby!
Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.
I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
AR-15: Who are you?
Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.