Im jokes

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom

Impossible? I’m very possible, really!

I'm at the circus, Noah O'Brien.

"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."

I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

I’m breaking up with you, bitch.

What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.

My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.

"Ouch!"

"What's wrong?"

"I stepped on a screw."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"

I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝

I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow. There is no food, and the drinks are 10 miles away!

What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?

"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

When do you go at stop and stop when done?

I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.