Im jokes
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
I'm Batman.
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
I'm Clueless.
By M. T. Head.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
I'm not sure, but the image doesn't contain text. Without the text, I cannot extract joke information.
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"