If jokes
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
Like if you like Logan Paul, dislike if you like Jake Paul.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
If you're bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"