If jokes

Like if you like Logan Paul, dislike if you like Jake Paul.

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

If you're bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.

If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?

Society.

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.

If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.