If jokes
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
If you're bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Like if you like Logan Paul, dislike if you like Jake Paul.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."