If jokes

Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?

A: No steam.

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

If you're bored, just punch an orphan!

What are they gonna do...tell their parents?

Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.

Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.

Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.

He'd break if he did.

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

To RANDYYYY,

Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.

-ALYA with love

Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.

Person 1: How smart are you?

Person 2: Really smart.

Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

What’s up with the foot feet?

What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."

What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.

Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."

-Mully- This is my mom left!!

In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."