If jokes
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
i would try so hard not to laugh if that person was next to me
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
If you boil your funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
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Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.