If jokes
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
If BLESSEDBRIAN were any more inbred, he’d be a SANDWICH.
If Slade were any more SENILE, he’d be pH 7.
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"