If jokes

Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.

If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.

If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.

What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?

Why can’t an orphan play soccer?

If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.

It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?

GHOST MUSTERD

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

A twin engine has two engines.

If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.

If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.

If I get an atom, I would split it with you.

If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."