If jokes

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."

Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.

If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.

The kid just hangs there.

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?

If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

"If you can't win, lose."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.