If jokes
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?
Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?
You: Uhhhhhhh
Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.
You: Thank God.
Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...
You: *faints*
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One, if you throw it hard enough.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!