If jokes
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Memes
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Like, and comment if you're single.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Talk to me if you're online.
If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.
Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.
I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.