If jokes

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

Talk to me if you're online.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."

I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?

We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.