If jokes

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?

A: This rice is very delicious!

B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.

What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive.

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.

If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.

If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.