If jokes
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
What if this post got 78.2 likes? 🤩🤭😈
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?